Top 10 Sports to Play While Drinking

February 8th, 2008 Sports News Guy Posted in Top 10 Lists 3 Comments »

While not all of these can be considered “sports” some are aired on ESPN and others are more competitive than any sports All-Star Game so therefore they are sports in my book. Here’s my list of sports to play while drinking, some of these it should actually be required to drink.

10. Bull Riding (Mechanical Only, unless you’re crazy)

I put this on my list simply because I’ve never been to a place with a mechanical bull and not been tempted to ride it after a few dozen drinks. Everytime I go to Stoney’s in Las Vegas it’s like the Drunk Mechanical Bull Championships and it makes not only a great sport, but an even better spectator sport.

9. Madden on XBox360 or any other console

While not a REAL sport this is going to be broadcast on ESPN and has started many heated rivalries between me and my friends. Heated arguments, thrown controllers, and rowdy friends will all bring the atmosphere to life, it’s like being at a real game except you control it. Plus it’s way easier to throw a pass drunk on Madden than it is to go out there and do it on a real field.

8. Fishing

While not the most exciting sport, it’s an easy sport to do while drinking. Just make sure that you aren’t drinking and driving the boat, that is not cool.

7. Softball

If Artie Lang has taught me anything, it is that you must down some Jack Daniels before a softball game can begin. There’s nothing better than playing softball and downing beers on a nice summer day. Again, you shouldn’t get to drunk, it’s not fun to explain how you were to drunk to make a play and ended up taking a line drive in the face.

6. Horseshoes

What’s better than a one handed game, it allows you to hold your beer at all times! This game also creates many ways to trash talk and drunken celebrations that should be posted on youtube. Bocce Ball is another great sport in the same category.

5. Beach Volleyball

If you can avoid the overly competitive group that wants to play, you can turn this into a drinking game for the ages. In college we made it rule that you must have a beer in hand at all time, it makes for an interesting game. Even if you don’t play to the extreme like we used to, you can still use this as an opportunity to have some fun and share some drinks.

4. Pool

Another game where I can’t play sober, play great buzzed, and suck drunk. If you weren’t meant to play Pool drunk then they wouldn’t have Pool tables in so many bars.

3. Golf

What better way to spend the day than drinking and driving? A golf cart I meant, this sport even has girls that drive around and look for people needing some more of the sauce. While the game gets frustrating at times, there’s always alcohol in your cart to help you forget.

2. Bowling

Bowling and drinking go together like beer and chicken wings. Although I wouldn’t recommend that combination along with bowling, greasy fingers could lead to bowling injuries. Unlike some of the sports I’ve mentioned, I can only bowl when sober, after that, I’m still rolling a ball, but I wouldn’t call it bowling.

1. Beer Pong

The king of sports in the drinking world, this sport can be played many ways and every region has it’s own rules. But this game is one of the most competitive sports around. The best part is, win or lose, you’re still drinking, so there are no losers! You can even enter the World Series of Beer Pong

Hopefully this got you all in the weekend spirit, I know I am. If you think I missed anything please comment and let me know your opinions.

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5 People NOT to invite to your Superbowl party

January 25th, 2008 Sports News Guy Posted in NFL, Top 10 Lists 1 Comment »

5. The Bitchy Girlfriend/Wife

All of us have one friend who’s girlfriend or wife can’t stand her man hanging out with his friends. This woman will not only ruin your festivities for her significant other, but she will also ruin it for you. She will either bitch about the food being served, the amount of beer being drank, or “how boring” football is. Do yourself a favor and tell your friend to come stag, or don’t come at all.

4. The Fair-Weather Fan

This guy (who was a Colts fan last year) will show up in a discount Patriots shirt and make sure that you know he was there for the Pats the whole way. If anyone reminds him that he was a Colts fan last year he’ll come up with some sort of excuse about how if he can’t have the Patriots win he’d rather see the team that beat them take the championship home. He will be an annoyance through the entire game by agreeing and adding to the commentary if it is in the Patriots favor, or defending what is said if it is not in his favor. This guy will make drinking beer and watching football seem like torture.

3. The Guy/Girl that just watches the game for commercials.

This person be it guy or girl is inevitable, they come with a friend or a friend of a friend and let you know from the beginning that they don’t give a shit about the game. They’ll analyze each commercial and tell you what they thought, even though you don’t give a shit. They will drink your beer, eat your food, and bring no excitement to your party except the fact you can make fun of them when they are out of earshot.

2. The Guy that only gets one free day a year

This is the guy who’s significant other won’t allow to hang out with you 99% of the time. He’s always got “plans” on weekends and this is his one free day. His wife/girlfriend will let him free for this day and he will make damn sure that he makes the most of it. He will arrive much earlier than he should and begin drinking, he’ll constantly tell you and whoever is around how great it is to just “hang with the guys” and by the 4th quarter he’ll either be puking, crying, or passed out. You will then have to call his wife/girlfriend and ask her to pick him up, this will annoy her and you will have to argue with her for 40 min. Do yourself a favor and just pay for this drunk to get a cab home and avoid the headache.

1. The die hard Patriot or Giant fan

These people, unless you are all Giants or Patriots fans, should be avoided most. They have the potential or ruining the fun for everyone. They will either celebrate to excessively for every great play their team makes, or they will take out their anger on your furniture when their team makes a bad play. These people will also remind you how terrible your favorite team is because they aren’t in the Superbowl. The night will end with these fans either being shit-faced and depressed, or wanting to celebrate and not giving a damn that you have work tomorrow. And whatever you do, do not allow both teams fans in the same room, that’s how you end up with the uninvited police showing up.

Think I’ve missed anyone? Comment and let me know

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Top 10 Most Annoying Athletes

January 17th, 2008 Sports News Guy Posted in Top 10 Lists 1 Comment »

Athletes can be annoying for many reasons, they can be whiners, loud mouths, shoved down your throat, or just straight up douche bags. This is my list of the most annoying athletes and why.

10. Tony Romo

I had no problem with Romo up until recently, it seems that now it’s not as important what he does on the field, as who he dates off the field. It’s quite annoying when an athlete is no longer an athlete, but instead celebrity gossip.

9. Randy Moss

Up until this year Randy Moss had been locker room poison for a few teams, not just with the Raiders but he also caused problems with the Vikings. He has been outspoken about his distaste with teams, players, and said straight up that he wasn’t even trying on the field. I’d like to rank him worse but this year he has been pretty reserved and a pretty good player. At least until that restraining order.

8. Terrell Owens

Let’s just go ahead and say it… He’s a dick. When with the Eagles he was outspoken about how “terrible” Donovan McNabb was. He spiked a ball on his future teams logo at the 50 yard line and almost got his ass kicked for doing it. His crying about Tony Romo at the Cowboys press conference sealed the deal and his spot on this list.

7. Shaquille O’Neal

He was involved with the WWE, he was in the movies Kazaam and Steel, and worst of all he released 5 albums, not counting his Greatest Hits album. Nothing more needs to be said.

6. Joe Theismann

This is a bit of a cheat, I wasn’t old enough when he was playing but he makes the list simply because as a commentator he makes me want to take a power drill to my ears.

5. Tom Brady

It’s really not his fault that he made this list, more the hordes of commentators and sports writers that felate him every chance they get. I’m not trying to take anything away from his ability but I don’t need to hear about it constantly.

4. Peyton Manning

What doesn’t Peyton Manning sell now-a-days? From Sony televisions to Strawberry Scented Douche, his face is plastered on my tv all the time and it gets really old. Although I give him credit for his SNL appearance, he was pretty money.

3. David Beckham

All I heard about him was how he was going to make Americans go crazy for Soccer. Until that happens he earns a place on this list simply because he’s been in more people magazines than soccer games since he arrived here.

2. Barry Bonds

Do I really need to go into this one? Steroids, the home run asterisk drama, and the list goes on and on.

1. O.J. Simpson

Though not an athlete anymore, he still gets the number 1 spot on this list and I don’t need to explain why.

Feel like I missed someone? Feel free to comment your opinions and let me know who.

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